Sunday, December 3 2023 - 12:41 PM

The Seventh-day Adventist Church in the Pacific Southwest

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Loving Others

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” –Mark Twain

One of the biggest problems that confronts us as individuals, families, communities, and the world, is our innate ignorance of how to be kind. Contrary to what many believe, being nice doesn’t come naturally. We are not born with the skills needed to successfully navigate life’s relationships. They must be acquired and developed. If we don’t choose to be loving and kind, it simply doesn’t happen.

Many believe that Christians have mastered how to love people. And when visitors come to your church they expect to find people there who have perfected the art of being nice! Surprise! While it’s true that Christians are supposed to be reflectors of God’s grace, we need to remember that churches are hospitals–filled with sick and broken people. And sometimes it’s all we can do just to be there.

The church is God’s laboratory where he administers grace to human beings under duress. Sometimes it goes well and there are positive results, and at other times it flops. It all depends upon how we respond.

What Is Your Church Famous for?

Doctrinal Purity

Most Adventist churches pride themselves on the purity of their teachings and take great pains to stress this point. And who would argue against the importance of finding and following the truth? I once worked for a conference that built their public awareness campaign around the belief that we Adventists have the answers to life’s toughest questions. That’s reassuring to know, but sometimes the answers are only cerebral and fail to impact how we treat each other. Simply put, we must ask God to help us turn our theology into biography.

Blue Zones

Other churches wish to be viewed as “blue zones” where people can learn how to prolong their lives through lifestyle modifications. Why not? Some have reasoned, we have the truth about God, and God has shown us how to be healthy. I once heard of an Adventist church that was so health-minded that if you brought a dish to the potluck that contained some forbidden ingredient, you could be sure it would end up in the trash. Why? Because they put a great deal of emphasis on dietary “holiness.” But what about their relationships with people? How much importance do they put on being gracious and kind? What is more important?

The Church of Ellen White

Some Adventist churches pride themselves in their knowledge of, and adherence to the writings of Ellen White. From the moment you walk in the door, you hear people quoting her writings. You also notice that Spirit of Prophecy quotes are in the bulletin, posted in the halls, generously sprinkled throughout the announcements, and the pastor’s sermon. I’m a fan of Ellen White and must say it was her book, Steps to Christ that brought me to Christ when I was a teenager. But this is not what I want people to think of first when they hear my name or think of the church I attend. I want them to think about Jesus and the amazing things he’s doing in my life.

Imagine what it would be like if your church was known primarily for its warmth and compassion! If the people in your community thought of Adventists as the kindest people in town, imagine what effect this could have. If word got out (and it were true) that Adventist churches are filled with people who are eager to love everyone (insiders and outsiders) , even if you don’t share their views, people would come in droves. Every Sabbath we’d have traffic jams in our parking lots, because there are very few places in the world where people can find unconditional acceptance and love.

At what point does an Adventist church cease to be Adventist? When its members quit observing the Sabbath? Or, when they no longer bear the fruit of the Spirit–love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? (Galatians 5:22-23, NLT). We could at least assume they are no longer Christian, if they fail to bear the telling marks of those who follow Jesus.

Adventism at its Best and Worst

Adventism as its worst is believing that we can never measure up to God’s standards. That, thanks to our fallen natures, life is much worse than we first imagined. It is believing that most people outside of the Adventist church are evil and to be avoided. It’s that if we are at peace with ourselves and the world, then we’ve probably forgotten some terrible sin that we have committed that needs to be confessed! It is not understanding righteousness by faith and the good news of grace and forgiveness!

Adventism at its best is discovering that God is not the tyrant we thought he was, and that life on this planet can be better than we first imagined. It is discovering (through God’s Word and positive human relationships) a new sense of personal dignity and self worth that we didn’t know existed. It is finding that through Christ we can experience peace with ourselves and the world, even in the midst of conflict.

“Don’t cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who marks you to be present on that day when salvation from sin will be complete. Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ” (Ephesians 4:30-32, Living Bible).

If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Kindness in a World Gone Mad | Is Your Church Kind?  

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About Rich DuBose

Rich DuBose

is director of Church Support Services for the Pacific Union Conference


  1. You have to be careful that you don’t put yourself on a guilt trip because you can’t be or aren’t pefect like Jesus(God). Many examples of Jesus’ kindness interactions with various individuals and their effect or change as a result, are shy of indicating the true and real evil in mankind.

    • Executive Editor

      True, yet there is always room to improve is how accurately we reflect God’s grace. It is a life long journey.

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